by Ashley Cosher

“‘Wir werden Amerika,’ we are going to America, is the only thing I remember from the conversation with my parents. I was four years old and being taken from my home, the only home I knew.” These powerful words poured out of my great-grandmother’s mouth. Elsbeth Hoheisel was born in Burscheid, Germany, on May 1, 1920. Ever since she was a little girl, she has never fit the typical stereotype that accompanies each age group.

Her father, a German machinist, was told he was being transferred to America to work. “Moving to another country is not something most four-year-olds have to go through, and all I could think was, ‘why me?’ I loved Germany—my friends, family, home—it was all in Germany. I knew my parents were not doing this to hurt me, but it was difficult to understand at such a young age.” She cleared her throat, “Within days of finding out I was moving, we were on the boat to America. There was not much to look at. Wood planks held the boat together, and we were all on the lower deck of the boat. It was dark, damp, and dreary, and everyone was nauseous and seasick. Hour after hour, we were basically sitting on the laps of strangers next to us. The best part of the trip was bypassing customs at Ellis Island. We had special privileges since we were there for business. The boat dropped everyone off at Ellis Island and we were immediately driven to New Jersey by my father’s company.” My great-grandmother told me the story like it was just yesterday.

Coming to America was a big struggle for Elsbeth. The first year was very stressful trying to overcome the language barrier. She worked hard in and out of school to learn English and eventually knew enough to carry on a conversation. Learning English was also very challenging for her parents because they had been speaking German for nearly thirty years. Elsbeth spoke German at home and had to act as a translator for her parents. Her dad began to pick up on the language at work, but her mom struggled to learn it because she was a homemaker.

“Most little girls played with dolls or played dress up and house; I was not a normal little girl.” Being in a new country caused Elsbeth to grow up quickly, and she could not enjoy the same pleasures of being a kid. “I did not have a bad childhood, just a different one.”

Year after year, life in America became easier. Elsbeth adapted, and she became comfortable in her new home. She began to see all the opportunities in America, and she realized why her parents were so optimistic about moving.

In 1937, Elsbeth and her boyfriend, Russell, decided to take the next step in their relationship. Russell had enlisted in the military and had a strong possibility of being deployed; therefore, Elsbeth dropped out of high school and she and Russell got married. Russell never was deployed, and within a year, they had their first daughter. Elsbeth stayed at home while Russell worked as a welder. Over the next several years, they had four more children, all daughters. “I was always the cool mom,” she chuckled, “as my kids grew up, they were always getting into trouble.

“I remember one night, about a week before Halloween, all the neighborhood kids thought it would be funny to take people’s pumpkins off of their porches. Of course, they decided to hide them in my barn. The cops came to my door asking if I knew anything about the pumpkins, and being the ‘cool mom’ I was, I covered for the kids. The cops peeked around the corner to look at my back yard, and every single kid was lying down in the tall grass. The cops had little flashlights, and in the dark of the night, they had no chance of seeing them. I probably should not have covered for them so much, but they were kids, and I let them be exactly that. They were not harming anyone. Maybe it was because I did not get to experience being a kid and wanted to live my childhood through them.”

Everything was going so well in Elsbeth’s life until her husband was killed instantly in a car accident. She was 35 and a single mother with five children. “As soon as Russell passed away, I knew I needed to find a way to support myself and my daughters,” she said. Elsbeth returned to high school at the age of 35 to finish a few required classes so she could earn her diploma. “Being in high school as a 35-year-old was definitely unusual. My daughters were in high school around the same time. I remember walking into the classroom, and everyone thought I was the teacher. Luckily, I met a lot of great people who all respected me and my situation. I made the best of it because I knew I needed to finish my diploma in order to get anywhere in the job field.” Elsbeth graduated from high school a year later and continued on to college where she completed a two-year nursing program. She graduated from nursing school at the age of 38, and she later got a job as an RN at the local hospital.

On top of juggling school and family, Elsbeth married a man named Frank, at the age of 36. She had one more daughter with him and also adopted her stepson. For once, Elsbeth’s life was normal. She worked each morning, came home and made dinner, and spent the evening with her family. Elsbeth worked for nearly 30 years and retired at the age of 74. “All of my kids were grown-up and out of the house. They were living lives of their own and no longer needed Frank and me to support them. I wanted to settle down and enjoy the time I had left with Frank, who had been diagnosed with lung cancer. Doctors were unsure how long he had left to live.” Not long after his diagnosis, Frank passed away, leaving Elsbeth alone once again. “It was different living all alone, but I was not going to let it ruin the rest of my life.”

I never knew my great-grandmother during these hard times in her life, and I never got the chance to meet either of my great-grandfathers. Her past lives on through all of the stories she shares with us anytime we visit, and she is proud of the life she has lived. She did not have a typical childhood, nor a typical high school and college experience. Thinking her life would be typical now would be foolish.

Most elderly people I see get around using canes, walkers, and wheelchairs. They depend on others, just how Aunt Edie from the popular series, The Middle, depended on Frankie. Aunt Edie never remembered who her family members were, and she depended on everyone to do simple jobs such as grocery shopping and cleaning. Elsbeth once again lives against the stereotype of a typical senior citizen. She occasionally uses a walker or a motorized wheelchair when she knows she will be walking around all day; however, for most daily trips to the grocery store or shopping, she gets around on her own. Elsbeth still drives herself around as well. She assists her neighbors who fit the stereotype of elderly: poor memory, poor sight, hard of hearing, and decreased mobility. My great-grandmother even has a collection of keys by her door so she can let her neighbors into their homes when they lock themselves out or need assistance. She acts as a caretaker to her neighbors and loves having people over for a homemade German dinner.

I remember going to visit her one summer when I was about ten years old. We walked into my great-grandmother’s house, and there was a funny smell. That funny smell happened to be our dinner. My dad seemed excited when he saw the food on the table, and he told me it was a famous German dish called rouladen. Beef and carrots were wrapped in under-cooked bacon, and this did not seem too appetizing to me. I hesitated to take a bite, but I immediately realized why my dad was so excited. The beef was so tender and the carrots and bacon complemented it well. Now, whenever we visit, I always put in a special request for her homemade rouladen. Although she has spent the majority of her life in America, she is still German at heart. She is very strong-willed and does not want to have to depend on others. “I was forced to grow up pretty quickly and did not get to act my age as a kid, so why act my age now?” she laughed. “It seems like I lived life in reverse.”

My great-grandmother truly does seem like she lived her life in reverse. I have never met anyone above the age of 90 with a memory like hers, let alone the independence she has. I have not experienced most of what my great-grandmother has gone through; however, I admire her tremendously. When I am her age, I hope to have the energy and determination she has. “The day I cannot take care of myself will be the day I am no longer here. You will never find me in a nursing home, and when I do pass on, I will go knowing I lived my life to the fullest, the way I wanted. Sure, I had a few rough patches that I was not exactly planning on, but part of life is learning to adjust, and make the best of everything thrown your way.”