Mindfulness
Whatever you do right now, do NOT think about the color purple. Stop! Stop thinking of the color purple! STOP!
You probably weren’t thinking about the color purple until I told you to not think about it. And then you probably had a hard time shutting off the thought. When it comes to thinking about the color purple, the fact that we struggle to “shut off” the unwanted thoughts isn’t a bad thing. However, when it comes to our thoughts that might cause emotions like sadness or anxiety, this can become problematic. Maybe you’ve been trying to shut off some thoughts recently. There are a lot of thoughts that might cause some uncomfortable emotions right now. The scariness of the virus, the isolation of stay-at-home orders, the frustration with the news… the list could go on and on! The problem is that our first instinct is to try to push away these thoughts. Unfortunately, this tends to make things worse. It essentially functions as denial, and you end up using way more energy trying to ignore something that is nearly impossible to ignore.
A specific approach to cognitive therapy can give us some useful insights on how to better cope with these unwanted thoughts. It is called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy – or ACT. One of the core components of ACT is the skill of Mindfulness. Mindfulness is simply the act of being fully present in the here-and-now through conscious awareness – paying attention to the “right now” on purpose. Through Mindfulness and the ACT approach, we can learn to pay attention to our thoughts, rather than try to ignore them or fight with them.
The idea is that the more we work on paying attention to thoughts, the more we realize that thoughts are just that – thoughts! They are not necessarily truth or reality. Additionally, we can realize that thoughts come and go when we let them. A perfect example of this is the fact that we often forget things! Have you ever forgotten to do something you had previously set your mind on? Then you have seen how easily thoughts can come and go in our minds.
We tend to hold onto painful thoughts, however. Even when we don’t mean to or don’t want to, we inadvertently end up stuck in them. The key is to learn how to interact with these thoughts in a less judgmental way – kind of like how we interact with mundane thoughts. We need to learn how to observe them and notice them, and allow them to come and go.
One way you might do this is by adding a couple of key phrases in front of your thought. For example, you might use “I’m having the thought that ______.” To take it even further, try “I’m noticing that I’m having the thought that ______.” This can drastically change the power that the thought has over you! It can make it feel so much less real. If I were to say to myself “I can’t do anything right,” it sounds very factual. However, notice how less impactful it feels to add the phrases: “I’m noticing that I’m having the thought that I can’t do anything right.” Now that distressing thought feels much easier to cope with, because I recognize that it’s just a thought – not truth!
You also might try changing the voice tone that you use for your distressing thoughts. For example, you might use a high pitched, silly voice to say the thought out loud. This can make the thought feel less intense and less distressing. It reminds me of the movie “Up,” where the dogs in the movie have collars that let them speak in English. One of the “bad guys” is a big, scary Doberman – he’s very intimidating and commanding. But his collar breaks, so he talks in a high-pitched, squeaky voice – so no one is intimidated by him anymore! We can use the same strategy on our own thoughts.
A final way you might try to practice this skill is through a guided meditation or an imagery exercise. You can imagine your thoughts as leaves on a stream, cars on a road, or items on a conveyor belt. Imagine noticing each individual thought, and then allow it to drift out of sight and awareness. It might be helpful to start by practicing with a guided meditation. Here are some YouTube videos that can help you work on this skill!
Guided Imagery of leaves on a stream – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mp5xDSriCUs
Noticing Thoughts – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5sI6qujzIs
General Mindfulness exercise – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCdyDMsZ7K8
If you give any of these simple strategies a try, let us know how it worked for you in the comments!